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“Our
Life Together”, by Ken
My
earliest memory of Vera, other than the dance where we met, was a walk in Dean
Park, a small park across the street from where Vera and her mom and dad were
living. We were walking together in
a secluded section of the woods and I tried to kiss her.
She resisted. I said, “Give me a kiss”.
Vera said, “I can’t kiss you”.
I asked, “Why not?” She replied, “If I kiss you, I might fall in
love with you. If I fall in love
with you, I’ll want to marry you. If
I marry you, I’ll drop out of college. If
drop out of college, I’ll never become a schoolteacher.
And, I’ve always wanted to be a school teacher.” After
a long discussion and more walking, she finally kissed me.
Then, she fell in love with me. Then,
we married and she dropped out of college.
And, she never became a schoolteacher. We
married when we were almost teenagers. Vera
had turned 20 only three days before our wedding.
Even at that young age, we knew that it was important to say the words
“I love you” and not just assume that the other knew that they were loved.
So, we vowed to say the words “I love you” at least once every day. Every
night before we went to bed, we said “I love you” in case we had forgotten
to say it earlier in the day. One
of us would say the words “Goodnight, I love you”.
Then, the other would reply, “I love you, too”.
Then, we would kiss and go to sleep. For
the first, several years of marriage, that was our ritual.
We would lie in bed talking, often for hours on end.
Then, one of us would say, “Goodnight, I love you!”
The other replied, “I love
you, too!” Kiss! After
five or six years of marriage, the words had blended together:
“G’nite, I-love-you”
“I-love-you, too! Kiss! After
about ten years of marriage, it became just one word each:
“G’nite-I-love-you!” “love-you-too”
Kiss! After
about twenty years of marriage, we weren’t always as patient with each other
as we had once been. When one of us
was tired and didn’t want to keep talking, they’d say, “Give me my
G’nite-I-love-you.” Then, other
would say, “G’night-I-love-you”. “Love-you-too”.
Kiss. After
thirty years of marriage, we had said “I love you” to each other more than
10,000 times. When I was on
business trips or she was at her mother’s side when her mother was dying, I
would call her or she would call me at least once a day to say: “I love
you”. Last July, when I was on an
African Safari, I knew I wouldn’t always have cell phone coverage out in the
wilds of the Africaan bush. I got a
satellite phone so I could be sure to call her every day. I
don’t remember much about the day before Vera died. There was nothing remarkable about the day.
But, I do know I must have gotten my G’nite-I-love-you.
So, I know with absolute certainty that my last words to my wife were
“I love you”. And, I’m
equally positive that the last words she ever spoke to me where “I love you”.
And, there is no doubt in my mind that the last act we did together was
to kiss. Our
lives together started with a kiss and ended with a kiss.
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This page was last updated on 01/14/08. |
